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Exhale

Some days it’s hard to breathe.

Like today.

Because every deep, steadying breath I take in is accompanied with tears on the exhale. I haven’t beckoned them. They just come. Uninvited guests. Tears.

Today, my only sibling is flying away on his next Marine Corps journey. And I’m sad.

The gloomy clouds and cold temperatures are only feeding into my emotional predicament and I find myself swimming in a sea of tears. Those stinking, uninvited tears.

Because in my heart’s memory, my brother will always be a little toddler, despite the reality that he is very much a trained warrior and now a married man. It doesn’t matter.

I can’t erase the memories of my 10-1/2 year old self stepping off that hospital elevator and walking to the window to see a screaming baby in a lighted, plastic bed.

“Meet your brother!” Dad said.

It was the night before the first day of my fifth grade school year.

Life hasn’t been the same since; the boat permanently rocked.

As we both grew into adults, we have settled into a precious relationship, one that is only attainable with your sibling. I have a protective love for him, even though we both know he doesn’t need to be protected, and I would (literally) do anything for him. Anything.

But right now I sit in Mt. Vernon, MO, and he is traveling across the world, where he will live for way too long, and all I can do is pray.

Pray that he has safe travels. Pray that his new bride is comforted as much as she can possibly be. Pray that my parents can ease into this separation. Pray that the next years fly by.

But all that truly matters is that wherever he is, he is happy.

So I will pray above all else, that you are happy, Jackson.

I love you more than you will ever know.

-your favorite sister.

Categories: Life on the farm

Ginia

My name is Ginia Oehlschlager and I'm a small-town gal from Missouri. Join me as I document my crazy life on the farm with my husband and four kids. I'm always looking for frugal, simple ways to live the life God set before me. Where faith, family and fun come together on the farm.

4 replies

  1. Ginia, hugs to you and your family. Brett has started another chapter in his life and before you know it Kenzie will join him and all will be better. I’ll be thinking positive thoughts for you all across the ocean. It’s hard to be away from your family back home but the military also has their own strong family to look after each other. He will be making new bonds on this assignment that will be with him forever, I’m sure. I miss and love you all!

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