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This time last year I was recovering from a major surgery. This time last year I was surviving on adrenalin and shock. This time last year those sedatives remained in place for a long time because every time I turned around I got bad news. Numb was good. Numb helped. […]


Standing on this side of my cancer journey is different than I imagined. I’m so thankful to be here but the grass is definitely not as green. I suppose that’s true in everybody’s life. My current paradox is hard to explain but it’s like living your dream come true concurrently […]

In bed.

I’m lying in bed. Again. Attached to me is a pump that is spewing life-saving poison into a main artery in my neck. Also attached to me is an incredible amount of guilt. Now, I am no stranger to mom-guilt but cancer-guilt is a whole different ballgame. I could care […]


How do you cope with something like this? Cancer. Stage 3c colon cancer. Twenty-eight percent chance I will be alive in five years. Fifty percent chance the cancer will return even with treatment. How do you cope when your oncologist tries to be proactive with testing and then the mammogram […]


As the sedation wore off I immediately sensed a change. Before the procedure began I was just another patient. Nobody spoke to me. I really wasn’t there. I heard all about their lives. Mundane chit chat. But after the procedure all eyes were on me. Solemn eyes peering over masked […]